understandablydumb: the guy on the radio just said “gas prices aren’t so bad if you consider you’re really buying liquid explosive dinosaurs” and my perspective on life is forever changed
metallickah: unrealthings: batreaux: this is my linen closet, *shows you some towels* and this is my lenin closet *shows you communist propaganda* #Bed Bath and Bolsheviks #communism works on paper but not on tile or marble
fergusmacleod13: suklaaaa: bunnyinafez: iwantfitbody: madamedepompador: winchesterwolves: moniker-padacklyte: zillystring: wasereborworthit: mellowminty: pizzaforpresident: petition to rename the usa ‘south canada’ what about alaska are we then normal canada canada a bit to the left What about South America? Is that just America? Or South South Canada? i...
Step 295: Print this out for your laundry room
(I am working a morning shift at a cafe. We are serving breakfast. A little boy and his mother enter the cafe.)
Me: “So, what will it be?”
Child: “I WISH TO DEVOUR THE UNBORN.”
(There is a sudden silence and everyone turns to look. The mother looks very embarrassed.)
Mother: “Eggs… he would like some eggs…”
redphonebox: just so we’re clear, i use dude bro man gurl babe bb loser as gender-neutral and affectionate names
heysammy: woah girl are you from france ‘cause madamn
Hello, Universe.: Bill Nye the Science Guy →
lostgrrrls: mirkwood: molecularlifesciences: -Season 1 1. Flight 2. The Earth’s Crust 3. Dinosaurs 4. Skin 5. Buoyancy 6. Gravity 7. Digestion 8. Phases of Matter 9. Biodiversity 10. Simple Machines 11. The Moon 12. Sound 13. Garbage 14. Structures 15. Earth’s Seasons 16. Light and Colour 17. Cells 18. Electricity 19. Outer Space 20. Eyeballs -Season 2 1. Magnetism 2. Wind 3. Blood and...
tvwillbethedeathofme: askgamerjack96: ...
When you rearrange the letters in the word... →
lulz-time: theepichumor: Same goes for DESPERATION = A ROPE ENDS IT, THE EYES = THEY SEE, THE MORSE CODE = HERE COME DOTS, DORMITORY = DIRTY ROOM, SLOT MACHINES = CASH LOST IN ME, ELECTION RESULTS = LIES - LET’S RECOUNT, SNOOZE ALARMS = ALAS! NO MORE Z’S THE EARTHQUAKES = THAT QUEER SHAKE, ELEVEN PLUS TWO = TWELVE PLUS ONE and MOTHER-IN-LAW = WOMAN HITLER. My lovely followers,...
icoulduseinsouciantmaybe: eisencorgi: twelvejammiedodgers-andafez: on a scale of one to invade russia in the winter how bad is your idea #очень плохо #somewhere between going up against a Sicilian when death is on the line and starting a land war in Asia tbh
i hate how you’re just born out of nowhere..... →
lulz-time: ofsherlock: i hate how you’re just born out of nowhere and you’re forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job what if i wanted to be a duck My lovely followers, please follow this blog immediately!
ichidou: msgryz: superwholockedginger: snail-monger: I went to public school. i lost it after attempt 510. Literally me whenever I play any game. I don’t care how many times I’ve watched this or reblogged this, every time it appears on my dash, it will appear here. Just… fucking christ. jesus christ how is this almost up to 250k good work michael
bakayosei: senorpacman: [THE LOCH NESS...